A tiny human is a fragile being. It depends on others for everything. Food, shelter, cleanliness, and emotional comforts are necessary for a baby to survive on this cold, cruel planet and it’s up to the parents to provide it all. For years. For decades. Some of it for their entire lifetime. Being responsible for another living person from the beginning of their life until the end of time is a position of great honor. It’ll also scare the heck out of you.
If I’ve ever known real fear in my life, it’s been as a parent. There’s no way to love with all your heart and not have instances of horrifying fear. It’s the yin to the yang of it all. You can’t have one without the other. Babies are the most beautiful tiny things. They’re also the most fragile little folks. You worry about them constantly. Hold up the head. Cover the outlets. Put baby locks on the drawers and doors. Don’t drop ‘em. Don’t step on ‘em. Don’t let ‘em eat the dishwasher pods. And all million and six things else that you’re scared of doing, not doing, or keeping them safe from. It’s exhausting.
Chris fell off the top bunk of his bunk bed when he was about four. Busted him right in the mouth. There was a lot of blood. I should’ve had a rail there. I didn’t. Candice fell out of a willow tree and broke her arm when she was around eight. Greenstick break of the radius and ulna that looked like something from a horror movie. Had to be set at the ER with a sudden and audible “snap” that made her shriek in pain. My fault. I should’ve been watching her. Micheal had to have his adenoids taken out at about three years old, and tubes put in his ears. He later had some teeth growing into each other that required the dentist to pull a couple of healthy teeth. They didn’t want to come out, but I watched the dentist (and heard it) pull those teeth like a mechanic yanking rusty bolts out. Probably very related to that event, he also needed braces in his early teens. Not as dramatic, but still scary. Also my fault. They were my genes, after all. Timothy broke his ankle in a three-wheeler accident when he was little. I was told at the time it was a “tree climbing accident” because he wasn’t allowed to ride three-wheelers. My fault. I should have been supervising him better. All these things are common in parenting. It’s the reality of children that nobody tells you. It’s always your fault. Even when it’s not, it is. You brought them into this world and it’s up to you to see that they’re safe, clean, housed, educated, fed until they can fend for themselves. A more frightening situation I cannot imagine. If parenthood doesn’t scare you, when you are a parent, then you’re not doing it right.
The benefits outweigh the fear, so calm down. There’s no better feeling in the world than to see those same little knuckleheads that used to put pennies into the light sockets become responsible human beings, and even parents themselves. To see them grow up to be good people that care about other people and watch them live, love and be awesome human beings is worth all the headaches, tears and fears. It even gives you hope that one day they might be able to take care of YOU when you’re old, fragile and needy. Or maybe not. THAT’S another kind of fear. I felt a chill just then. Didn’t you?
God bless Y’all.
Rolling Stones 
Beautiful… and yes, I could feel that chill. Barbara Diane Salazar
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