I look at my pictures from fifteen years ago versus the ones of myself and I see the drastic differences. The lack of hair on top and the snow colored invasion in my beard glares obviously at me. The wrinkles have multiplied and the creases stand out harshly. My skin has the stark “old guy” leathery texture. I’m ok with getting old. I think I’ve always been over 50. I’m just growing into it lately. Women usually have a different outlook on aging. They fight it a lot harder. I’ll just leave it at that.
Laura Gail discovered the “Aging App” that everybody was using over the past couple of weeks. She used it on our pictures and the results were unexpectedly realistic. I could see myself looking that old. It wasn’t too awful, but I was no Sean Connery either. Laura Gail was still smokin hot, just older. When you’re 20, an aging app is a novelty. When you’re 54, it’s no longer a threat. You realize there’s very little you can do to change what you’re going to look like in 20 years. If you look at your parents at that age, you can count on getting some of that. Yeah, I know. Ouch.
She would’ve been 54 today. Sam was a little over a month older than me. I found myself wondering what she would look like, if she were here today. My curiosity was brief. It dawned on me quickly that it would be an exercise in futility. I felt that it would be disrespectful of my memory of her. In my mind, she will always be that skinny little girl with the pigtails in Mrs.Spiegel’s fourth grade class. I’ll keep he beautiful high school senior picture in my mind forever, with her feathered hair and delicate hands. I’ll see our wedding pictures in my memory, faded but full of her energy and excitement. She’ll forever be flowing through the rivers of my past, posing with one, or all, of our kids. Hospital pictures, school photos, camping trips, family Christmas videos and all the other holidays. I keep her images in my heart and soul. She is ageless. She hasn’t the agony of old age to suffer through. I wouldn’t rip her from the bonds of Heaven just so I can satisfy my whimsical curiosity. It wouldn’t be fair to my memory of her. I wouldn’t judge anyone else if they did something like that. I speak only of myself.
Cynthia Denise Stone taught me much of what I know about life, in her brief stay on this earth. I miss her dearly, but her lessons stay with me. She was the wife of my youth, the mother of my children, the most energetic mind I’ve ever met. Even when she wasn’t trying to, or even when I didn’t want to learn, she taught me something about life. I’ll make sure to pass them on to my kids and grandkids. She deserves to be remembered to those little ones she longed to meet, and by her kids who she longed to see grow to adulthood and beyond.
Think about the image of Sam you have in your mind. The impression she made on you. Those memories are precious. Keep her in your heart too. I think that’d make her smile. I can see her smile, and feel it, even as I wrote those words. She still makes me smile.
Happy Birthday Sam.
Rolling Stones 