I’ve been to jail. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t hide the fact. I’m very open about it because it reminds me of where I’ve been, and where I don’t want to revisit. I’m not referring to jail as much as I am being a drunk. I’m an alcoholic. I’ve suffered because of it, and I’ve caused suffering because of it. Jail is just evidence of my problem, an unfortunate symptom of my condition. I prefer not to relapse. I work hard every day not to. Like most bad character traits, it takes work and persistence to stay sober. The simple act of not drinking is not so easy some days. It can be done. The people around me that love me help a lot. They give me an anchor. They steady me when I need it, but it’s up to me. I either want to be sober, or I don’t.
You can either learn from your mistakes, or live with them. I went to jail three times within eight years. I spent over ninety days in jail. I went through six months of outpatient therapy. Somewhere along the way I learned a few simple lessons.
- I can’t drink without drinking controlling my life. Some people can. I can’t.
- It’s up to me to change my life, or not. Nobody else.
- If I decided not to change my life, I could expect the people I love to move on with their life and leave me to deal with the results of my own decisions.
- One good decision can change your life.
All good things to learn. So, my life changed, and continues to change for the better. My life isn’t perfect. No one’s is. The point is this: if you’re doing things wrong, then do things differently. Someone once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Truer wisdom I’ve never read. Our lives can change for the better if we’d just take a different path. Quit doing things the way we know will lead us to destruction. Relationships with toxic people, jobs we hate, habits that control us, hatred and bitterness that we hold onto that sour our outlook on life;
they’re all things we can change. We don’t have to keep doing the same old things, making the same old mistakes, and suffering the same old consequences. True insanity is continuing to live with our mistakes, and never taking steps in a different direction. If you walk in a circle, you’ll always end up in the same place.
Every day is a new opportunity. It may be a chance to turn away from a bad habit. It may be a new job. It may be to meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. It might be a chance to do something you’ve always wanted to do. At every turn of life, we’re all presented with choices. When you find yourself ending up in the same place, over and over, get off the track. Stop taking only left hand turns. Take a right. It’s life. Not a Nascar race. You don’t have to keep circling the track, racing to win or crash. The opportunities are endless.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Never forget that jail always smells like ass and feet, Dear Reader.
K.S.
Rolling Stones 
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